Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thankful For Life And Eating

Maggi ready to run the Fredericksburg Turkey Trot 5 km with 2700 of her best friends. Molly, Val and I are ready to watch.
Photo one is three good reasons for me to be thankful this year. Photo two is another.
Holiday Eating Tips...Wink, Wink!
Tongue-In-Cheek Tips For A Chuckle
By Robin McClure,
For all you would-be dieters and health-conscious party-goers around the holidays, here are 10 tongue-in-cheek holiday eating tips worth a chuckle...or at least a brownie or three!

When eating around the holidays, here are tips to consider before having that next food orgy at the all-you-can eat buffet!

Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the seasonal spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. Toast to the holidays!

If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner!

Note from Guide: Author is unknown, but this list has been circulating across the public internet, so it's fair game to spread the holiday cheer!

1 comment:

dreaming over the ocean said...

photo #2: thankful that you are not racer 2082, or the hords of others who look like they are freezing their butts off? or....? ;) gotta say that that girl in the middle has niiiice wheels....